Monday, April 29, 2013

Fuck comparisons

Here's something I fucking hate: the need people have to put down others to make themselves feel better. Or to claim that their preference for a certain body type has some kind of moral authority.

I was just browsing on Etsy and entered "strong" in the search box. Half the result on the first page were shirts that read "strong is the new skinny." Most were modeled by very thin women, ironically enough.

Fuck that noise.

Skinny and strong are not mutually exclusive. Neither are heavy and strong, or heavy and sexy, or pretty and tough, or pretty and evil as fuck.

I've always been skinny. I haven't always been strong, but I am now. And I'm telling y'all it is fucking moronic to put people down because of their bodies. Skinny or not, strong or not, curvy or not, hot or not.

Nothing is weaker than being a bully, even if you hide behind the guise of empowerment.

Are you curvy? Or do you prefer women with curves? Great. More power to ya. But don't circulate bullshit like this:

The full range of body types has always existed, despite what is fashionable at the moment. Responding and raging against trends just embeds the mentality that we should fucking conform to society's current definition of what is desirable - which is never even an option for the vast majority of people, no matter how bony or chubby it might be!

There are BILLIONS OF US. One size does NOT fit all, or even most. So just fucking stop with the comparisons. Just because you personally don't like something doesn't mean it should cease to exist. There is room for both Anne Hathaway and Adele bodies in this world. You can boost your self esteem (or try to win points with a woman) without picking on someone not your own fucking size.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Just for fucks

Here's a short list of happy dance videos that are just plain fun to watch. That's really all I'm interested in seeing on the internet: happy and fun. REALLY. I listen to NPR for my news. If I'm on the computer, I'm either working or avoiding working by watching happy and fun stuff. Today, I feel like dancing.

Feist: 1234. She wears blue sparkles and crowd surfs. Seems pretty idyllic.
Snow Patrol: Called Out in the Dark. Tennis dresses, black lights and green screens.
REM: Stand. Like the Hokey Pokey with less shaking all about.
Nicki Minaj: Pound the Alarm. The dancing is excruciatingly pathetic, but the costumes are fucking amazing. And I have a strange love for this song, so it makes the list.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Fucking yoga

Earlier today, I was somewhere in the neighborhood of this position:

Supta Kurmasana
The name of this pose translates as "sleeping tortoise," but I was more of a weeping tortoise. A waterfall of sweat had poured into my eyes. It burned like hell. But whatever. I tried to just relax into the pose and not freak the fuck out.

My teacher: "I know you're thinking, 'are you fricking kidding me?' but now squeeze your legs ..."
Me: "I'm not thinking 'fricking'!"

But I was laughing too. Turtles have a pretty good sense of humor. And I love love LOVE that when I Googled to find a picture of this pose, the one I liked best (shown above) was on a site called FuckYeahAshtangaYoga.

Fuck yeah! If 'real' men wear pink or love Jesus, then it is also true that 'real' yogis say fuck!

Unless they don't.

But they do.  Or do they? Fuck if I know. I just know my latest addition to my fucking charm bracelet makes me really happy.
FYeahJewelry is on Etsy. Slowly but surely my shop is growing. It might grow faster if I'd stop pretending to be a tortoise, but where's the fun in that?

Monday, April 15, 2013

Fuck your neighbor

Actually, I am fortunate enough to have wonderful neighbors. Really. Which is why it seems ... mean? bitchy? ... that I am giving this key chain to one of them.

He picked it out though. So see, I'm nice.

I don't like angry, abusive cursing, which is probably why I like this Lily Allen song so much. When I'm annoyed I sing "fuck you very very much" in my head and it just makes me laugh. I wish the official video wasn't full of annoying-as-fuck sound effects, but looky here, someone posted it with the real lyrics. Yay!
I'm in the process of adding key chains to my FYeah Jewelry shop on Etsy. I'm still debating which one to put on my key chain - I'm split between "fuck posers" and "big fucking deal." Guess there is no reason I can't have both...

And then some. 

...I started this post a couple of days ago. I added fuck posers and big fucking deal to my charm bracelet yesterday. Yay! Today, Monday, I decided on my ideal key chain:
So far, I've managed to list just one, but really, more are coming to my shop this week. The first simple Fuck key chain has already sold. I just got a request for a Fucking Awesome one. Another soon to be listed one is Fucking Badass. There is no end to the fucking madness.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Fucking business cards

I'm still undecided, so I will post it here as well. Good design for the back of FYeah Jewelry's business/display cards? Or no?
A Facebook follower suggested I make a reversible pendant - FUCK NO on one side, FUCK YES on the other. I plan to follow her advice, and call the design 'Fuck Indecision.' If only I had one to flip right now, I could make up my mind!

Fuck Decaf Necklace Gift for Coffee Lover

I love coffee. Truly, madly, deeply. I can go without - sometimes for weeks at a time - but when I come back, I discover my love has just grown stronger.

Decaf? Fuck decaf! It is the caffeine I'm after. Although I have to work hard to keep my addiction in check. What starts as one cup in the morning can easily turn into two - or three - 

My 'fuck decaf' charm necklace is perfect for any coffee lover, or barista. I imagine I could be quite judgmental of decaf drinkers if I was a barista. You want me to brew you coffee - without the caffeine? You had better be pregnant.  Even if you are male. Why else take out the best part?

Oh, you want to sleep at night? Hmmm. Maybe you are onto something...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

So Fucking Awesome!

So, after seeing lots of friends and meeting lots of nice people at my First Friday show at Pottery Place Plus (with my more socially appropriate jewelry) friends and I went to Jone's Radiator for a drink. Good beer, good live band - but what made my night was realizing, after a minute of confusion, that the music playing while the band took a break was Modest Mouse...with banjos. No fucking way!

No fucking way. Holy fuck. Fuck yes. Fuckin cool.
Fuckin' awesome. So fucking fun! Handmade metal charms.

Once the cognitive dissonance cleared a bit, I was stoked. Two of my favorite things, united. Holy fuck. How did I not know about this? It is so fucking awesome!

So today, I looked it up on YouTube and apparently, there are banjo-filled bluegrass renditions  - "tributes" - of basically everything. Most are by a band called Iron Horse. I nearly choked on my coffee listening to bluegrass Metallica. Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire...

I can't really explain why this makes me so happy, other than it also reminds me of one of my favorite movies - A Mighty Wind. It's a blowin'.

Here's to fucking awesome mixes of the weird and wonderful. Have a fucking fantastic day!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Training for life, motherfucker

When making choices about how to spend my day, I remember this little quote:

That's right, motherfucker. Training for life. Whatever life means to you. Pretty much all of it is fucking ridiculous if you stop and think about it, so go with what makes you happy, no matter how silly it might be. 

Monday, April 1, 2013

Fuck Perfect

Today has been a pretty fucking great Monday. It is unseasonably warm and the sun is shining - I'm wearing flip flops for heaven's sake!

What's made it even better - besides the fact that I did not report to a cubicle - is that as I worked and ran errands all day, I've been wearing a pair of my new Fuck Perfect earrings.

I put them on as a reminder to myself not to get all stressed out over setting up a gallery show. It is ridiculously easy to get all high strung over making shit look pretty. Good is great - FUCK PERFECT. Ironically, when one is able to maintain this belief, suddenly everything becomes fucking perfect! It is magic!

Magically, I also had my first Etsy sale in my FYeah Handmade Jewelry Etsy shop! I plan to add lots more items - curse word charms, cussing earrings, swear-word charm bracelets with different themes - in the next week before promoting it in earnest. I mean, before I get fucking serious about marketing the fuck out of it. :)